Several years ago – I believe it was six or seven – my friend Mark helped me get a new MacBook Pro at a great discount. I was freelancing (and cheap) so I declined the solid state drive. Even so, Mermaid IV helped me write a book, pen endless pieces at an alt weekly paper, publish my website, re-launch The Gabber, and countless other things.
So when she started to die a few months ago, I told myself it was because I needed to not keep so many tabs open (don’t judge me; I open tabs for things I need to address during the day, and when they’re all closed, I can stop working. You get your compulsions and I get mine), or because I didn’t charge the battery enough, or… well, you get the idea.
The speakers were blown. The video was unreliable. Sometimes the screen didn’t want to turn on. Last month, she wouldn’t turn on at all… for more than an hour.
Joey, a godsend of a creative director and also The Gabber’s tech genius, looked at it and, in as nonjudgmentally as a Joey can, asked, “Hasn’t the computer been trying to warn you for a while now?”
Barry was more succinct: “Can you write without a computer? Can you run The Gabber without a computer? I love you for wanting to save money, but BUY A NEW COMPUTER RIGHT NOW.”
I did. And Apple gave me a generous credit if I’d return Mermaid IV. And so I did, because #Earth and all, but some part of me kept hoping they’d receive her and tell me, no, no, we were wrong, she’s only worth $50, and so I’d say “no thank you” and would have the return her. She’d stay with me until her end of days and, oh, I don’t know, play music or Apple Arcade games or just let me hold her quietly in the dark.
Sadly, it was not meant to be. And so I pen this on Mermaid V. This time I sprang for the SSD (Mermaid III still has one and she’s still a high-functioning relic at The Gabber) MacBook Air and I expect she’ll be with me for a long time (also, fingerprint login? sleek pewter body? I’m in love!)
One day, she’ll leave me, too, and I’ll feel equally as sad and foolish as I do tonight. Humans, I read, will pack bond with anything.
Go thee gently, Mermaid IV. Go thee gently…
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